You’re at the right place! GrandpaDale.com is our sister site and a bit of renovation is underway there, so we’re happy to serve as your host. Welcome!

And welcome to those coming from FaceBook, Twitter and elsewhere–possibly looking for information about one of our most exciting projects of all times…

ff0000;">Pat-the-Baby!

All of my adult life I’ve wanted to make a difference in the lives of children. As a result, I’ve written children’s picture books, have been a founding director of youth camps in three states and Canada, have worked extensively as a family coach, have spoken coast-to-coast on the theme, “Every Kid a Winner!” etc.

Nothing I’ve ever done is more exciting than “Pat-the-Baby.” Nothing holds more promise for positively impacting untold thousands of children and their families, and nothing is simpler than “Pat-the-Baby.” It doesn’t cost a cent, and to access it, just click:

http://www.tinyurl.com/PatTheBabyNow

If it fails when you click on it, simply cut and paste.

Get ready for a fun experience that, for many, will be life changing. If kids count to you, you’ll love it.

Remember: it’s free–but invaluable!

–Dale

If you have questions, email me at Dale@TheFamilyMinute.com. Poke around while you’re here at www.theFamilyMinute.com and look over some of our archives related to family. Needless to say, family is high priority here! We hope to have more and more helpful content, so visit often.

It took only five words…

If my dad spoke those five words at the beginning of a sentence, they worked wonders! They grabbed my attention and snatched me back from wherever my little-boy mind had wandered. They riveted my attention on Dad.      I was ready.

“Did I ever tell you….” That  phrase was the preamble to adventure. Television was a thing of the future and our family had no radio. But soon we might be in the jungles of the Philippines cowering in fear with Dad and other young recruits listening, dry-mouthed, to rhythmic war-beat of tom-toms getting closer and closer—tom-toms, the drums of savage cannibals, according to the old sergeant. Or we might be enjoying breakfast at a street cafe in Paris. Or awed by smoke and smell and sound of colorful life-size parade-dragons weaving their way through the streets of Tokyo. Or we might be frantically scrambling through underbrush in Borneo with fierce headhunters closing in. Or setting dangerous explosives deep underground in the vein of Number 9 coal in Muhlenberg County, KY; “That’s how Jeb Matheney lost the thumb and forefinger on his right hand, you know.”

“Did I ever tell you…” and its counterpart, “Once upon a time…”: are signals that it’s story time, a time of remembering. The “mem” in “remember” and the “mem” in “memorial” carry the suggestion of something or someone who made a difference—who contributed parts of the mosaic or tapestry of our lives.

When Alex Haley wrote Roots, he struck a responsive chord that continues to reverberate. We all yearn to know our story: who we are, who they, our ancestors, were, and what we’ll find when we follow our roots. Stories reveal the tale—the tales, I should say.

Memorial Day is a time for remembering…a time of stories. We’ve almost forgotten that. I’ll remember, in particular, my brother, Reg, (the “Jackie” of our novels): His service in WW II, his being missing in action (He was in a German prison camp), his Purple Heart, his three years in the hospital after the war. And the good times afterward.

I’ll remember Dad (the “Smith Delaney” of our novels): his time as a teen soldier in the occupation forces in the Philippines after the Spanish American War; his time in Europe in WWI, the rascal he was and the gentleman he became after he met my mother (to-be).

I’ll recall my children’s great-great grandfathers’ service during the Civil War—at least one for the Confederacy and two for the Union. And I’ll remember the mothers (my Mom, of course) and wives and the sweethearts (Reg’s Jo) who stayed behind.

But our memories aren’t just of the military actions of our forebears. Let’s remember those ancestors’ trips over the mountains or down the rivers. Let’s remember their hard times and good. Let’s remember how they laid the foundations our lives are built on.

Visit their graves, if you can. Those memorial stones mark the final resting place of real people who once felt the joys and heartaches of life much as we do. Be thankful for each bit of good they bequeathed and forgive their failures.

Learn their stories. Write them down. Share them with the children who will be your bridge to generations to come. The stories help us know who we are, and may well give insights into why we are what we are. For example, it’s easy to trace my love of nature, of people, of my faith, and of stories. No doubt it’s easy to follow paths that suggest why you are who you are, too. And how I love it when I get a peek into a secret closet of the past and see a garment that I now wear.

I’ll write more about stories and storytelling in future posts on my blog, http://theFamilyMinute.com Be sure to visit there regularly.

– Philip Dale Smith (GrandpaDale)

PS We’ll discuss how you can make the most of storytelling to enrich family life and bond family members.

]]> http://thefamilyminute.com/it-only-took-five-words/feed/ 0 http://thefamilyminute.com/kids-look-at-the-world-with-fresh-eyes/ http://thefamilyminute.com/kids-look-at-the-world-with-fresh-eyes/#comments Wed, 20 May 2009 15:45:14 +0000 smithdale2 http://thefamilyminute.com/?p=146 Alexander Graham Bell is said to have commented, “I love to talk with children. They look at the world with fresh eyes.” The following selection certainly demonstrates that they do. They not only have “fresh eyes,” they combine acute interest in what is going on around them with their limited experience and understanding–with the result being some definitely interesting observations!

I don’t know who compiled this group of answers by children regarding mothers, but I’m sure glad they recorded them for us. Enjoy!

WHY GOD MADE MOMS Answers by 2nd grade children to the following questions about mothers:

Why did God make mothers?

1.  She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2.  Mostly to clean the house.

3.  To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1.  He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2.  Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3.  God made my mom just the same like he made me.  He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1.  God makes mothers out of clouds & angel hair & everything nice in the world & one dab of mean.

2.  They had to get their start from men’s bones.  Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1.  We’re related.

2.  God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s mom like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom?

1.  My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2.  I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3.  They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1.  His last name.

2.  She had to know his background.  Like is he a crook?  Does he get drunk on beer?

3.  Does he make at least $800 a year?  Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1.  My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world.  And my mom eats a lot

2.  She got too old to do anything else with him.

3.  My grandma says that mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?

1.  Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball.

2. Mom.  You can tell by room inspection.  She sees the stuff under the bed.

3.  I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

000000;">What’s the difference between moms and dads?

1.  Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.

2.  Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3.  Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.

4.  Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1.  Mothers don’t do spare time.

2.  To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1.  On the inside she’s already perfect.  Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2.  Diet.  You know, her hair.  I’d diet, maybe blue.

000000;"> If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1.  She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.  I’d get rid of that.

2.  I’d make my mom smarter.  Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.

400040;">3.  I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

<<<<<<<<>>>>>>

There you have it: Insights about mothers that I’ll bet you wouldn’t have thought of.  If you know who wrote it, let me know.

Talk to you kids. Ask them questions. And by all means listen without over- reacting. You may be awed (shocked?) by what you’ll learn. –GrandpaDale

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“Daddy, did Pa really shoot up the poolroom at Beech Creek?”

Lisa asked me that when she was perhaps 13 years old. 

“Yep. Sure did,” was my reply.

A few years later: “Daddy, did Pa really shoot the Muhlenberg County Sheriff off a ladder?”

My response: “Yep, he sure did!”

I told the truth.

A couple of decades passed and Lisa, by then a published and recorded song writer, wrote a song about her Pa: “Gentle Heart, Gentle Soul, Gentle Man.” You’ll see it soon.

Hard to believe, but what she wrote in that song was true. He was a gentle heart, gentle soul, and gentle man!

In the decade after the song came out, “Pa” became the inspiration basis for the male protagonist in Lisa’s historical fiction novel, Turn Back Time, which won the national Benjamin Franklin Award for fiction and became a featured Doubleday book club offering. (BTW, I coauthored it). In it, and its sequel, Sunshine & Shadow, he was a good guy–mostly.

Debby, another of Pa’s granddaughters, a school teacher, wrote the essay, “Pa.” In it she tells of the delightful relationship she and another granddaughter had with him. She describes what he was and what he did that made those little girls adoring fans.

They couldn’t have imagined that he was the man who shot up the pool room and shot the sheriff off the ladder. Knowing how he honored “Ma,” his wife, they couldn’t have conceived that there was a time when his best friends hoped no woman would be so foolish as to marry this “fast-fisted, short-fused, bad-news bachelor.”

But let’s go back and glimpse the story behind the story.

“A man can change, cain’t he?” John Orville Smith asked his cousin, Maude. He was back from carousing around the country and wanted to get to know her friend, the “young widow Rhoads.” His question was a plea in response to Maude’s unwillingness to cooperate.

“Yes, Orville,” Maude replied, “a man can change. But you ain’t likely to.”  She refused to introduce him to the genteel and highly respected young widow with two small children.

But she relented.

The man who became my dad spent the next half-century proving that, yes, a man can change. And can become the adored patriarch of a passel of children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and their spouses.

So the premise of this blog is that  a man (woman, and child) can change, can improve, can make a difference. Fortunately we won’t likely have make changes of the magnitude that “Pa” did. We can make little differences as we adjust, tweak, and upgrade our attitudes, skills and behavior. As we do, marvelous benefits will accrue in our lives and in the lives of our loved ones. Perhaps for generations to come. 

Now, I’m honored to include his nickname in mine. He was my dad and was “Pa” to following generations. Now I’m “GrandpaDale.” If only I could be as “Grand.”

I’ll try. 

–GPD